Yesterday we were out with friends in the morning and early afternoon, and as we had tickets to see Guys and Dolls that evening, and a pre-theatre dinner reservation, it was not worth a 40 minute bus ride home to turn around and come back to town. Instead, we spent the rest of the afternoon slouching around town and going into one of my favourite places, Waterstones. There are few places in this world that I feel completely happy and at home, but a bookstore is one of them. Don’t ask me why, because I don’t know. I have a few guesses though. Most of these relate to being a child and on Friday nights we would go for Chinese food at our favourite restaurant and then we would spend something like 3 hours wandering Borders. We would each pick out a book to buy and then we would go home and dad and I would watch Doctor Who on PBS. After that, I would start reading my book. I have the warmest memories of those Friday nights. I am sure they were not all Friday nights, but still, they stick in my memory with a rosy glow.
And now, whenever I walk into a bookstore, I can immediately feel the anxieties and weight of the world slip from my shoulders. I feel strangely alive and engaged. There are so many things I want to read, so much I want to learn about. It’s amazing I don’t become overwhelmed and shut down, but I don’t. I feel encapsulated in a happy bubble. None of my worries or cares can break through. When I am in a bookstore, nothing else matters. What is perhaps most interesting is that I am a slow reader who often gets frustrated. This is why audible is a godsend to me. I love stories, but get frustrated by reading. And yet, bookstores still make me happy and I absolutely love wandering around them and looking at all the knowledge, stories, advice, guidance and lives lived. Yesterday, I came away with 3 new books after at least an hour of wandering and browsing. When bookstores finally disappear, I don’t know what I will do. I do know, a piece of my heart will carry a hole where bookstores lived. This leads me to wonder where other people’s happy places are? Where do they go to reduce anxiety and get away from the world when it feels like things are closing in?
Discovering Me 