To round out this month, I have bought new plants at the garden centre and planted them. My back pain can attest to that. I have been horseback riding again, of course. And we went to the cinema to see a film where I got ice cream to eat. I jammed a lot into the last two days but I still missed out some of my goals. But, now to get on with what I learned over the course of March.
I learned a lot this month – probably more than the other 2 put together. This month was supposed to be about having fun. It turns out, I truly suck at having fun. Self-reflection I am awesome at, but fun, nope. Turns out, I really struggle with both what I find fun and actually having fun. So my many, many lessons from this month include:
- Sarcastic doesn’t always equal fun.
- Confusing who I want to be and who I actually am. I really want to be one with nature but I can’t seem to make the effort to get out in nature. I suspect I may only think I like nature but I still prefer urban environments.
- I love a good story – true, made-up, or folklore. I love storytelling. I love it from an anthropological sense.
- I really don’t even know what kind of a job I would love to do. What job would I love?
- What are my hobbies? What do I find fun?
- What drives me? What do I truly love? About myself or to do with myself?
- Risks can be big or small.
- Urban exploring is fun with people.
- Being spontaneous is hard when you really know your own mind.
- Best laid plans – I am still too over optimistic with my time.
- As much as I seem to like the idea of relaxing days, I seem happier when I am on the go, go, go.
- I like to feel unique and not just one of many.
- Horseback riding has become very important to me in a short amount of time.
- My imp of the perverse is stirring up people’s pretensions and I love it.
- I have to be in the right mood/mindset to appreciate small things.
- Going with the flow is sometimes the best for feeling good.
- Does the activity really matter as long as it clears the head?
- What if I can’t be a writer? What if I am a bad writer?
- I like reading. Who knew?
Some of these are more questions than realisations but I am still working on this stuff. That’s what this year is all about. And I didn’t get my hiking done, or a day on the Moors. I need to figure out what to do about that.