Posted in Discovery Project preparations

Facing down self-doubt and when that doesn’t work, picking yourself up again

As part of my preparation for ‘my big adventure’, I am clearing out the back log of saved links for articles I thought looked interesting and that I really wanted to read.  What going back through them has taught me is a) I think I like everything and seem to save everything and b) half the stuff I do save I’ve moved on from a few months or weeks after I save them anyway.  But, I am slowly working my way through them and picking up bits of wisdom where I can or dismissing their information as not what I need for the moment.  Two that I think are very important for me though are two I was reading tonight.

The first one is about what to do when life knocks you down and how you can get yourself back up.  Again we are back to the principle of change these three things and this aspect of your life will be so much better!  At least this article acknowledged that you may need to do this in baby steps at first.  The three things are: ‘Hold yourself accountable’, ‘Move your focus’, and ‘Change how you speak to yourself’.  Again, this all seems obvious, but when I read about this guy’s experience, a tiny, flickering light bulb did go off in my brain.  I realised that like this guy, I give up on myself too soon.  I call it impatience at not being able to do something perfectly the first time, but it’s the same thing really.  The article basically reinforced things I already knew like only you can change your reaction and push yourself to keep going at the set backs.  I liked move your focus because I too would only look for the obstacles and not the opportunities or the path to get to where I wanted to be.  And the final point is essentially, don’t beat yourself up over mistakes, learn from them instead.  This is a life lesson I am currently working on myself.  It is incredibly hard to change a negative stream of thoughts into a positive one, but I do think I am getting there – slowly.

The second article was about how to believe in yourself when all you feel is self-doubt.  This is something I have struggled with all my life.  I remember as a child telling relatives that when I grew up I was going to be a barrister and go to Oxford Uni.  Now, growing up half-way around the world, my family all chuckled politely at my cute naivety and thought no more of it.  And while I didn’t go to Oxford or become a barrister, I did study in the United Kingdom.  I pushed through it all when I wanted something badly enough.  But it took me so much time to push myself to get to that place. What happened to that girl?  The advice in the article is all the advice I had been given over the last year or so, calm your doubts, stop listening to those who bring you down, recall successes, etc. Each year, I promise myself that I will remove all the toxic people from my life.  It isn’t always possible, but I feel that it is a solid goal to aim for each year.  I forget to calm my doubts and those can go into a downward spiral, but again, I’m working on it. And recalling my successes, well, I’ve never been great at that, but I’m trying at least these days.  The parts I always forget are to love and trust myself and give myself permission to try and keep trying.  Yeah, I am not great at either of those.  But 2017 is the year where I try to hold those last two tenets close.  2017 is the year where I begin to trust myself and my gut again.  It’s the year I just keep trying.

Article 1 

Article 2

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